Days of Wine and Roses Are Over This Valentine’s

By JENNIFER 8. LEE, The New York Times, February 13, 2009 

Marc Matsumoto, 31, shops in New York. He and his wife are having Valentine’s dinner at home. (Kirsten Luce for The New York Times)

And even some preparing to propose on Saturday are seeking a bargain approach: on Yahoo, searches for “cheap engagement rings” are “off the charts” compared with a year ago, according to Vera Chan, a trend analyst for the company. Other searches that are up over last year include “cheap lingerie,” “free Valentine’s Day cards” and “homemade Valentine’s Day gifts.” 

Valentine’s Day, a more discretionary holiday compared with birthdays and Christmas, is proving particularly vulnerable to the bursting of the economic bubble. Diamond jewelry sales are down 20 percent to 30 percent. Flower sales are likely to tighten as well, in part because the day falls on a Saturday.

 

In the current economic climate, many men say it comes as a great relief not to have to produce a material manifestation of an intangible emotion.

 

“It has become such an ingrained part of our culture that women expect it and men expect they need to do such things,” said Marc Matsumoto, 31, a New York marketing manager who was laid off in December.

 

For Mr. Matsumoto, Valentine’s Days past meant splurging on $700 to $1,000 dinners, $400 and $500 dresses from Theory and Eli Tahari, and jewelry from Tiffany’s. This year, he and his wife are planning a meal at home. The menu includes foie gras with persimmon port and lobster sous vide with yuzu butter, but they will split the $125 cost.

 

Angeline Close, a business professor at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, who has studied consumer attitudes toward Valentine’s Day, says the reassessment of the day is forcing it back to its roots. It started out as an intimate card-giving occasion in the mid-1800s but then grew into the second-most-marketed holiday after Christmas.

 

“It became a card and chocolate,” Professor Close said. “Then card, chocolate and roses, and then card, chocolate, roses and a lavish night out.”

 

Last year, consumers spent an average of $122.98 on Valentine’s Day gifts and merchandise, up from $80 in 2003, according to the National Retail Federation. With men, Professor Close said, “a lot of it had to do with the whole one-upmanship.” This year, however, the average expense is expected to drop 17 percent, to $102.50 this year, the federation said.

 

Tim Rhodes, 23, of Snellville, Ga., said he never wanted his wife to feel left out when other men doted on their partners; it seemed like “you don’t love your significant other as much as they love theirs.” This year, Mr. Rhodes and his wife, Beth, are planning to exchange practical gifts, like boots or a coat, and save their money for their move to Russia to teach English.

 

Creative, personal and experiential have become the key words. Chadd Bennett, 30, of Seattle, and his wife are forgoing their traditional getaways and jewelry this year, and will instead camp out in their living room and build a fort, harking back to their childhood.

 

“We can still keep that ritual together,” Mr. Bennett said. “It will save us a few hundred bucks, and be a heck of a lot more fun.”

 

Some men say they are reflecting a perceived shift in women’s thinking that they not spend a “stupid gluttonous amount of money,” said Brad Wilson, 28, of Chicago, the editor in chief of BradsDeals.com, which offers online shopping deals.

 

Indeed, Candace Lindemann, 31, an educational consultant from Miller Place, N.Y., pre-emptively drew the line, telling her husband, “No cut flowers.”

 

“I think they are expensive for what they are,” Ms. Lindemann said.

 

Even if plans include going out, many are finding creative ways to cut corners. Some are using restaurant gift certificates. Others are avoiding the pricey prix fixe dinners and going out for lunch, or dinner during the week.

 

Susan Jennings, 44, an artist from Manhattan, did both, using a gift certificate for Craft restaurant on Thursday. “We have zero income,” Ms. Jennings said. “We are just living on savings.”

 

Businesses are adapting in subtle ways. Roses are being sold in bundles of 10 instead of a dozen for a few dollars less. Jewelry companies are pushing less expensive items, like colored stones. Budget restaurants, which have not traditionally been hot spots for lovers, are offering Valentine’s Day specials.

 

The Internet abounds with ideas for frugal options, like playlists burned onto CDs and coupons for household chores. Sheryl P. Kurland, a relationship counselor, had another suggestion: do whatever it is that you did on your first date. The emphasis “recalls falling in love and nostalgia that’s often filled with humor,” Ms. Kurland said.

 

Susan Ji-Young Park, 39, of Los Angeles, has seen her income from teaching cooking classes fall sharply lately, so she prepared truffles to send to friends and family, in lieu of $100 orchid arrangements.

 

The holiday, Professor Close said, may be coming full circle.

 

“It started as a very pure romantic holiday, until capitalism and marketing spiked it,” she said. “We are retreating back a little bit to the original meaning behind the day.”